The Book of Hn
by Meihi.Hekiwarai
Summary: One day Botan trips over a book. What book, you ask? No... it's not Hiei's diary, but it's pretty close! The Book of Hn, by Youko Kurama! [HieiBotan fic, characters are OOC] This is my first actual story, so go easy on me! Please R&R!
1. Introduction

This is my first actual story, so tell me what you think!

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Botan was once again trying to find our favorite detectives for a new mission. She wasn't watching where she was going, as usual, and tripped over something small and hard. When she turned around to look at it, she found a book (A.N: No it's not Hiei's diary).

The title said: **The Book Of Hn **_A Guide to Hiei-language by Youko Kurama_. It was a small black book that had a picture of a miniature Hiei on it and in a very small print, _Results not guaranteed, this is based on Kurama's many up-close years of studying Hiei. Thank you for buying!_

Botan was-being Botan and always having wanted to know Hiei like Kurama did- very curious. She brought the book home to read.

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	2. Yay

All right guys, this is the first chapter of the book. I decided to go with 5 of the common-used 'Hn' Expressions… This is going straight to what she is reading first, ok? R&R please! On with the story!

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_The 'Leave-Me-Alone-You-Are-Not-Worthy-To-Be-In-The-Great-Hiei's-Presence-You-Foolish-Maggot' Hn: _Characterized by a Hiei Death Glare directed toward you or someone else, or possibly a toss of the head and no recognition that you exist. Most often used on Urameshi Yusuke and even more so on his friend Kuwabara Kazuma. 

_The Bored Hn: _Characterized by a blank stare out of the window. Can be confused with the _'I-Really-Want-To-Get-Out-Of-Here-But-I-Don't-Want-You-To-Know-That-Until-I-Disappear' Hn_ unless you know what to look for.

_The 'I-Really-Want-To-Get-Out-Of-Here-But-I-Don't-Want-You-To-Know-That-Until-I-Disappear' Hn:_ Characterized by a slightly menacing glare directed at the window, or staring as if contemplating the death of said window. Usually accompanied with a small smirk and always followed with a super-fast getaway shortly after unless someone catches the interest of Hiei (Cough) Botan (Cough) and/or restrains Hiei.

_The 'I'm-Embarrassed-But-I'm-Not-Going-To-Show-You' Hn:_ Characterized by a roll of the eyes or looking away and dropping of the head. Most often used around a ferry girl named Botan when being teased by aforementioned Yusuke and/or Kuwabara, difference being Hiei would usually give them the Hiei Death Glare and then give them a death threat. 

_The 'I'm-Contemplating-My-Super-Sad-Past-If-You-Interrupt-Me-I'll-Rip-Out-Your-Precious-Voice-Box-Youko' Hn: _Usually accompanied with uncharacteristically emotional eyes and head turned away from whoever is there. Most often used in the presence of his closest friends… (Cough) Myself (Cough)

In Botan's Head: '_Why would he be so embarrassed around me? And why would he ever show me any emotion? He barely recognizes me… sort of sad really… (Mentally slaps self) What am I thinking, what do I care?'_

**_MEANWHILEMEANWHILEMEANWHILEMEANWHILEMEANWHILEMEANWHILEMEANWHILEMEANWHILE_**

Youko Kurama, aka Suichi, was looking for the only copy of 'The Book of Hn' because he knew Hiei would kill him if anyone else read it. He looked up to see Botan floating randomly in the sky… reading his book. Wow, what a coincidence! Ok, so we can all guess that Kurama's dead if he doesn't print out another copy. It wasn't such a bad idea to let Botan read it though, maybe the ferry girl could finally figure out that Hiei liked her! '_Hmmm…'_ The kitsune walked away, plotting evil things…

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That's it folks! What'd you think? I tried to use some semi-common 'hn' expressions from the anime. 


	3. For

_This is it, the second chapter! On with the story! Diclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho... or Hiei's sweet snow. (sobs) (Meanwhile, Hiei's katana is pressed against her throat)

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The You're-An-Idiot-So-Don't-Make-Me-Waste-My-Time-Slitting-Your-Throat-Just-Leave Hn: Followed by a death glare and a hand dropping to the katana, but not pulling it out. If you continue to annoy Hiei after this point you will get the following hn._

_The You're-An-Idiot-So-I'm-Going-To-Carve-Your-Body-Up-And-Feed-It-To-My-Pet-Alligators-Even-Though-I-Don't-Have-Any Hn:_ Absolutely always followed by pulling out of the katana and slicing the receiver's body up into a million pieces and then leaving the body to rot because Hiei doesn't have any alligators. Beware, though; he's going to buy them as soon as he can find them, and there happens to be a pet store down the street that sells them. It's only a matter of time...

The I'm-Actually-Really-Happy-But-You-Aren't-Allowed-To-See Hn: Accompanied by a small smile, yes, a smile, not a smirk, and occasionally a blush depending on whom he's with. Used most often around Yukina (don'tkillmeHieiIdidn'ttellthemshewasyoursister!), Botan, and myself. The poor fire demon can't stop blushing around Botan, can he? Not many people can tell that, though…. That's what this book is for! (ohyeahthat'srightthisisabooknotmetalkingoopssorryheh-;) 

_The I'm-Interested-In-What-You're-Saying Hn:_ Accompanied by staring either at the person talking or staring out the window. Yes, as long as he doesn't look like he wants to kill something it means he's paying attention. And, you can probably guess by now, he also blushes slightly around Botan.

_The Yes-Fox-I'm-Blushing-Because-Botan-Is-Here-I'll-Kill-You-If-You-Even-_Think_-About-Telling-Her Hn:_ He actually said this to me once through mind-speak but nowadays he just gets that look in his eye when he 'HN's and I can tell what he means. This is the main proof that he likes Botan.

**_HIEI LIKES ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? _**(A.N: Wow took her long enough huh?)

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Hiei, who had found out about the lost book, was currently threatening Kurama. The copier hadn't been working right and his printer had exploded. Hiei didn't care. "Find it or else I'll…. I'll… no, I already used that threat three times this week… maybe… no, I used that one too... You'll find out what I'll do to you once I figure it out, fox." Hiei jumped out of the window and landed on his face. Kurama waited until he left and then cackled his head off.

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_(laughs her head off) Th-thanks to all r-r-reviewers! Hiei didn't have an insult OMGOSH!!!!!!!_


	4. ATTENTION: NOT A CHAPTER

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I'm really busy with school and stuff.

By the way, this isn't a crackfic. It doesn't say that it's a crackfic, and it will not be a crackfic. The characters are OOC, yes, but that doesn't always mean that it's a crackfic. It's a HieiBotan fic. It's meant to be funny, yes, but it isn't entirely stupid. There's no way to be serious about this, think about it, a book on how someone-not just Hiei- works and acts. I'm not yelling, just letting you all know. Thanks to all reviewers!!!! And thank you to the person who brought this up; I didn't realize that some people might see it this way. I'm sorry if I sound like a jerk. Thanks!!!


	5. Hiei

_I'm sorry!!!! I haven't updated this story in so long! I've been busy moving and stuff… Forgive me. So, over the span of 2-3 months I realized what I said in the A/N wasn't entirely true: It was more like a crackfic than anything. So, I'm going to try to make it a little more serious this time. No more Hiei jumping out of a window, although Botan might run into a tree… /bam / Uh, make that_ has_run into a tree. There won't be any more 'Hn' translations for a while, I'm running out of ideas, so there will just be a story for now. If you think of any 'Hn' ideas, post them in a review please!_

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Koenma sighed. His best ferry girl hadn't been doing much ferrying lately. When he asked her what was wrong she would just blush and shake her head while stuttering, "I-I-I'm f-fine!" He had noticed that she always had a little book in her hands, and she had run into his door once while reading it. She hadn't even looked phased.

What he didn't know was that Botan had been doing a lot of thinking and re-reading of that last page she had read. She was immensely confused. 'Since when did Hiei think of me as anything but an annoying, stupid girl? He hates me… But, Kurama knows him better than anyone… and he said that Hiei had even told him. But, Hiei could have lied, and Kurama could have misunderstood… But Hiei doesn't really lie much, does he?" The cycle basically continued like that.

Meanwhile, Kurama and Hiei had been arguing a lot. Hiei had physically pulled out his katana and pressed it against the fox's throat once or twice, and Yusuke had had to restrain him. Not that either of them would tell Yusuke why they were fighting. Not that Yusuke cared why they were fighting.

Eventually Botan decided to just read the whole book. Then, she could understand what Hiei was trying to say, him being the cute little ball of unemotional fluff that he is. (A/N: Where did that come from?) Anyway, she would like to be able to talk to him. Hiei had been avoiding her a lot. Well, a lot more than usual. (A/N: And so, I introduce the one thing that could make them talk: a mission! I'm not going into details though, because it has nothing to do with the plot other than to get them to talk.)

One day, about 2 weeks after Botan found the Book of Hn, Koenma came running after her yelling about a mission. So, she gathered the team, (A/N: Here meaning she talked to Kuwabara, Yusuke, and Kurama, and had Kurama find Hiei… wuss!) and they went on their merry little way.

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_Thanks to all reviewers, sorry for not updating, again, and thanks for the patience! Thanks to all readers, I love you all! In a totally non-romantic way, of course...!_


	6. X

Alright, since I haven't updated in a long time I'm gonna be nice. Plus, here's the crack-ficcy-goodness everyone seems to like. The next few chapters are going to be the rest of the Book that Botan read.

The '_What-the-hell-are-you-looking-at?_' Hn: Characterized by a stare and a scowl in the person's direction. That's about it.

The '_SHUT-THE-HELL-UP-NOW-BEFORE-I-TEAR-OFF-YOUR-BALLS-AND-SHOVE-THEM-DOWN-YOUR-THROAT'_ Hn: A glare in someone's direction, along with cracking his knuckles, pulling out his katana and sharpening it on the nearest hard object available. All while glaring at someone. I hope a cat isn't the nearest object when someone gets this hn, because he can't really tell if he's glaring.

The '_What-Do-You-Want-You-Fool' _Hn: An extremely bored stare, usually followed by the '_I'm-Gonna-Kill-You-If-You're-Wasting-My-Valuable-Time-Because-You-Kow-I-Could-Be-Sleeping-Or-Training-Instead-Of-Talking-To-You-Right-Now-Stupid' _Hn.

The '_I'm-Gonna-Kill-You-If-You're-Wasting-My-Valuable-Time-Because-You-Kow-I-Could-Be-Sleeping-Or-Training-Instead-Of-Talking-To-You-Right-Now-Stupid' _Hn, also knows as the The '_IGKYIYWMVTBYKICBSOTIOTTYRNS_' Hn, or sometimes as the The '_This-Hn-Is-Really-Long-And-It-Hurts-My-Fingers-To-Type' _Hn: Typically characterized by a Hiei-Death-Glare-Of-Doom-Ha-Ha-You're-Gonna-Die death glare type thingy.

I know, the chapters are so short, but I'm probably gonna condense the rest of the Book that I'm gonna add for now into the next chapter, so it should be longer. Sorry!


End file.
